#Alone December 18

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When I was in 5th grade attending a Catholic Grade School, there was a tradition that the 5th grade class would perform on Christmas Eve. I am not a gifted singer.

There was a nun leading our 5th grade choir. On the second day of practice while we were singing Joy To The World I was informed my voice was horrible. From that point on when the class would practice I sat ALONE in our classroom.

That rejection still stings and it produced a fear of singing out loud. I avoided that fear for the past five decades by never singing out loud. Every school day in December as a ten year old boy I sat ALONE in the class while others went to choir practice. I was left by myself with the emotion of rejection.

Last week I decided that those fears were not logical. I have to admit I was feeling a nudge from God to put that emotional episode of my childhood behind me. I started singing with my granddaughter.

I then made a decision to get out of my comfort zone and face my fears of singing last week. I joined my wife and four other gifted vocalists from my church to perform Christmas carols. The six of us went to four homes and sang 3-4 carols at each residence.

We went to sing to members of our congregation that are shut-ins or lived ALONE. I stood in the back, didn’t sing loud, avoided the high notes, but I did sing. In confronting my fear I came to a conclusion, I am not a good singer but the fear of singing was far worse than my actual voice.

It was at the second house we went to that I received an unexpected gift. The woman was a widow age ninety-four who lived ALONE. She said something after we finished singing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” that left me awestruck.

She told us all; I live ALONE but I am not ALONE. I get to walk with God everyday.

Sometimes we all make a mistake of living ALONE with our fears. It took me a long time to realize that won’t bring Joy To The World or more importantly joy to me.

#Alone December 18