#Shame September 13

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For September I am participating in the 30-Day Literary Lesson Coach4aday Challenge today the lesson is on SHAME.

In March 2020 I completed a 30-Day Reading Challenge and read a book by Brene Brown that was titled Rising Strong.

Literary Lesson on Shame

The book forces the reader to explore the true reasons for life’s most painful, uncomfortable, and darkest moments. The book touches on vulnerability, anger, disappointment, guilt, being heartbroken, and SHAME. It talks about the courage to deal with all of it.

SHAME is not the same as guilt. Brene does a great job of providing an example of the difference between the two. Here is a quote from page 194 of the book.

“There’s a huge difference between I screwed up (guilt) and I am a screwup (shame). The former is acceptance of our imperfect humanity. The latter basically an indictment of our very existence. “

She also says something I never thought of before on page 195.

“……. shame can’t survive being spoken.”

When we share what is causing us to feel SHAME with someone it no longer is our secret. SHAME needs isolation and secrecy to survive and strengthen. When we share our SHAME with a friend, loved one, or a professional counselor and they respond to us with empathy the SHAME dies.