#Boundaries December 2

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Last week I got to spend four wonderful days at the beach with my wife, four of our five children, my son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and 3 year old granddaughter Bryleigh.

When you have that many people in one house you need to have some BOUNDARIES. That especially held true for Bryleigh.

A few years ago I recorded a quote in my journal about BOUNDARIES:

“BOUNDARIES create Structure-Structure creates Freedom”

I don’t think the quote refers to physical boundaries but rather personal boundaries. When we can define our purpose in life it creates the freedom to pursue it.

Personal BOUNDARIES evolve from our core values, beliefs, and perspective. Just like the function of a fence, wall, or barricade is minimize entering a dangerous area or to define ownership. Personal  boundaries act in the same fashion they keep us away from harmful behaviors and define the space we operate in.

Boundaries are an essential part of leadership. Without BOUNDARIES, our days become a haze of activities without any focus. We end up feeling busy all day without accomplishing anything of value.

If you don’t set healthy BOUNDARIES, you will constantly at the mercies of others. Without structure in your life you allow others to tell you how to think, act, and feel. It results in your time and energy doing what others want versus accomplishing your own unique purpose. Over the course of day, week, month or lifetime this will lead to frustration and depression because you will feel unfulfilled or lost.

As adults we become responsible for defining ourselves and that involves setting personal BOUNDARIES. The less you set, the more you give others a signal that you don’t know how to take care of yourself. This leaves you open to attracting people who want to control you.

I believe this is why parental leadership in teaching children BOUNDARIES is important. It is not an easy task. It also never stops.

Here is a link for parental boundaries

Coaches and leaders need to act as parents and establish BOUNDARIES for their teams to be successful. I discovered a PDF online on the book Boundaries for Leaders written by Dr. Henry Cloud

His book explores how leaders need to set boundaries for everything to function effectively.  A leader, a parent, a spouse, minister, and a coach/teacher creates the culture in an organization or group. The boundaries show the team or group what will and what will not be acceptable. That structure gives the team the freedom to flourish.

The book has 7 Leadership Boundaries that can help all leaders improve.

Found a YouTube Video of Dave Ramsey interviewing Dr. Henry Cloud on BOUNDARIES.