#Rejected April 19

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Getting REJECTED becomes part of living. Dealing with REJECTION becomes part of leadership.

When we are criticized or deemed not good enough we often need to seek refuge in something or someone. The something can often be dangerous as many attempt to medicate their disappointments with alcohol, drugs, or other harmful addictions. The list of where we encounter feeling REJECTED is quite large and can include the following:

1. Applying for a job
2. Having someone you offer a job turn you down
3. Asking someone out on a date
4. Submitting an article for publication
5. Running for political office
6. Having a relationship end
7. Having sales proposals ignored
8. Being denied a promotion
9. Attempting to join a selective organization, club, or professional association.
10. Having a grant application not selected

Some people say that the real experts in the field of REJECTION are writers. When you pour your soul into writing it does sting when someone discounts it as rubbish. What I have come to accept is that REJECTION is not a reflection of who I am, what I have written, or the way I live my life. What REJECTION is a choice someone else has made about our work or us. That choice is often without merit.

What we all need to keep in mind is that external validation and internal self-esteem can have two completely different outcomes. There are a couple of techniques I have found helpful.

1. Be grateful for what you have
2. Stop listening to your inner negative voice
3. Sometimes the REJECTION has nothing to do with you-the choice someone else made is often out of your control
4. What can I learn from this
5. The REJECTION is temporary don’t make your reaction permanent-keep growing, keep writing, and keep believing.

I strongly encourage you to take some time to view this TED Talk by Jia Jiang. He provides details on what he learned from 100 Days of REJECTION. He shares that staying engaged with whatever or whoever REJECTS us often makes its emotional power weaken.