#Likership March 17
We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.
Today’s Coach4aday post is written by Lumberton NC native Captain Charlie Noble-Infantry Company Commander-Army National Guard.
Throughout life as a leader (read: coach, manager, principal, commander, lead chef, supervisor, head realtor, etc.) there will be occasions where you are forced to make decisions. And ultimately these decisions you make will be unpopular with some and that’s where leaders sometimes struggle, especially when you are tight and close with your coworkers and subordinates. This is where true leaders draw the line between leadership and LIKERSHIP.
This post is a story about that struggle.
Every decision you make as a leader has several second and third order effects for those you are in charge of. A lot of people in leadership positions, both in my line of work and the business world often don’t like to say they are “in charge”, rather they like to say something along the lines of “team effort” or “we’re in this together”. That is usually the case, until it comes time to make a hard, responsible decision, then it is all on you, as the leader.
This hit me personally a few weeks ago. I had to demote a soldier. I have had to do this to a few soldiers for a number of reasons, but this one was harder.
This was MY soldier. I have invested in his success the last several years. Helped him get on his feet. Help him find out that he can be a leader. Help him back on the straight and narrow after having numerous problems prior to me coming into the picture. But it was clear it had to be done, by regulation, and by the fact I had done so to another soldier several months prior (for even less actually).
It was, and wasn’t, a hard decision. It was hard because it meant a several hundred dollar pay decrease for the young man, the embarrassment that comes along with it (we literally wear rank on our chest, so you can hide the fact you got demoted), and the knowledge that you as a leader ultimately are the judge and jury that decided this. But again it also wasn’t hard because it was the right thing to do, it was deserved, and it was well within the guidelines of the regulation to do so.
This soldier took the demotion and walked out, understandably, upset with me. But as a leader you cannot allow the want of like and popularity to dissuade you from making the hard calls. My perception of the soldier didn’t change. He is still my soldier, but now I owe him some refinement, a plan, and support to get back on track.
Fastfoward to March 1, 2020, my time as commander was up, ceremony was done, and I am at lunch enjoying something the Army calls food. An arm appears around my neck in an embrace, and it is him…the one I had to demote, the one I had to take $500 a month away from, and he said “Don’t leave sir..take me with you”.
That solidified my command experience and everything I tried to make it for the roughly 2 years I was in charge. I made a hard, unpopular decision, but in the end it was the right one and we moved on. Worrying about only being liked versus worrying about leading can be hard, but the rewards of being an effective leader are worth a lot more than worrying solely about being liked.
Two things I have stuck by as a leader come from General (Retired) Colin Powell. “Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off” and “The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.
Making decisions with those you are charged to lead requires you to keep them in mind, keep them informed, and making them own parts of the decision. When that occurs the work that comes with the decision gives everyone the best chance to be successful.
As the leader admit your mistakes, be approachable, right wrongs, and act with integrity…all of these things will benefit you and your organization. They also will have you seen as an admirable leader not just a likeable person with a title or rank. The people on your team, in your company, or those that you lead will look at the tough decisions and make a decision if you can be trusted.
Remember we are talking about leadership not LIKERSHIP.
Recent Comments