#Battle June 26

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I have a fantastic life. I have fabulous friends. I have a family that is wonderful.

I spent thirty minutes one morning reflecting on all the positive things about my life, my friends, and family. That gave me great joy. Then for some unknown reason all I could think about were BATTLES. BATTLES I had fought. BATTLES others were dealing with. BATTLES the world was engaged in.

Each of our lives no matter how good, forces us at some point to engage in BATTLE with something or someone. Often the cause for the BATTLE is trivial but many times it is large, painful, and real.

The biggest BATTLES often involve emotions and reactions to life events. People have BATTLED divorce, job loss, bankruptcy, addiction, loss of a loved one, shame, rejection, and a whole host of health issues.

There was a time in my life where I would often envy others for what I perceived they had. I thought many people had the perfect life because they didn’t have any BATTLES to fight.

As I got older I realized nobody has the perfect life. When I invested time in getting to know people’s stories I realized everyone has dealt with conflict.  Some people are fighting a BATTLE right now. Some people are trying to recover.

For those attempting to recover from a BATTLE you are in a stage called “Not Yet”. I learned this term and concept from a TED Talk on Growth Mindset. The talk was by  Carol Dwerk

“Not Yet” is brilliantly defined by Carol Dwerk below:

If you get a failing grade, you think, I’m nothing, I’m nowhere. But if you get the grade “Not Yet” you understand that you’re on a learning curve. It gives you a path into the future. 

Quote by Carol Dwerk

For those that have come thru a BATTLE and moved on I believe they understand how to win involves a process. They do not have a fixed mindset they have a growth mindset about recovering.

  1. Anybody who goes from “Not Yet” to winning is a warrior. They realize they have to own the fight. They do not let the emotions of their inner self get the upper hand.
  2.  They determine what emotions they have to BATTLE-when you do that you understand the importance of self-awareness. Benjamin Franklin had a quote about self awareness.

There are three things extremely hard: Steel, a diamond and to know one’s self.”

3. When you become self-aware you begin to realize that fighting any BATTLE involves a strategy. Here are two pretty good ones.

  • Avoid what makes you unhappy and to stay away at from what you do poorly.
  • Immerse your life in doing what makes you happy and spending time on what you are good at.

My life is not perfect but it is fantastic. Fighting BATTLES made me realize that.

Coach4aday

My purpose in life is to coach. I am a former collegiate basketball coach, director of athletics, and chief of staff. I worked at four NCAA Division I & II universities during my career. At each campus I learned timeless lessons on teamwork and leadership. Today my passion is coaching others on what it takes to lead, serve, and succeed.

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